Mideast Piece

Today’s MEP Love Guide actually comes from a cute little book called The Gay Guy’s Guide to Love.

It suggests:

Don’t fall for these despicable, pernicious, malevolent, heinous, and generally wacko myths about gay love:

Myth: Gay love is wrong.
Reality: Love is love - gay, nongay, or in-between. Don’t let parents, priests, politicians, the press, or your psyche tell you differently.

Myth: Gay relationships threaten family values.
Reality: Gay couples ARE families who do or do not embody family values just like straight couples.

Myth: Gay relationships don’t last because homosexual men are constitutionally unable to coupel successfully.
Reality: One, plenty DO last. The world is filled with gay couples who have been together twenty, thirty, forty, or more years. Two, the only thing gay male couples are constitutionally unable to do the same as heterosexual couples is have babies.

Thanks to Simon in Bahrain for the tip!

The other day I was complaining to a friend about my measurements. I don’t even know what mine are exactly but I am not happy about them. See, I have been searching craigslist M4M listings doing “research” for Mideast Piece. These guys all list their stats - height, weight, - and other, um, measurements. Anyway, I guess I was having a low self esteem day and was feeling down about my body. I am what you’d call a twink. I’ve got a “swimmers body” - but at 5′6″ (on a good day) combined with my boy-ish looks betray my very, very late twenties chronological age. It’s a good thing, I think.

I was sharing this with a friend of mine that I think is just HOT. In a super kind and gentle voice he said, “It’s not that your body is so small, it’s just that your head is so big.” He might not have said “so big” but rather “big” - but either way I felt like some kind of Cirque de Soleil freak puppet. I’ve searched the internet for head shrinking devices with no success at all. Damn, internets. So the only alternative is to make the other parts of my body bigger. Believe me, some parts need no enhancement however. I am sure that I’ll give this up in a few days because I have the discipline of a mutt puppy (although I don’t diddle on the floor anymore unless it’s that kind of party).

Speaking of big heads, Mideast Piece was recently featured in Haaretz. Haaretz is the New York Times of Israel. It doesn’t have the biggest readership, but it’s the most respected newspaper in Israel. You can read the article here. The print article had a super cute picture of me and my big head. I should have made them put my phone number in the paper too. Alas. I went to a party last night at the home of a correspondent for the BBC. Three people in this high brow crowd independently said that they saw my picture in the paper. I felt like a star and I even have the big head to prove it!

By now you’ve probably heard about BP’s former chief executive, John Browne. He might be facing perjury charges related to his testimony in his efforts to keep details of his four-year relationship with beau Jeff Chevalier out of the papers. Basically they say that Browne lied in order to keep those details hush-hush. Brown worked for BP for 41 years - in a closet of his own making.

He’s quoted as having said

I have always regarded my sexuality as a personal matter, to be kept private.

I think that privacy is great but trying to stay in the closet about his relationship cost Browne about $31 million. According to CNN,

Browne’s early departure means he will lose a bonus of up to 1.3 times his annual salary, that comes to more than £3.5 million, just under $7 million. He will also miss out on the long-term performance share plan for 2007-2009 with a maximum potential value of some £12 million, just under $24 million, the BP statement said.

Coming out takes guts. It’s not easy to be openly gay - even for a boss of a very powerful corporation. Moreover, coming out is a life-long process. Every time you meet someone new or get a new job you’ll have to come out all over again. But if you’re not out, people will always speculate why you’re a 50 year old “bachelor”. It’s not really a secret. So, come out! Live your life out in the open - and celebrate love in your life. Don’t stuff it into a dark closet.

Try to soften up a little. If your skin is too tough, Cupid’s arrows will bounce right off. (A little moisturizer doesn’t hurt either.)

According to this article for CNN by Aneesh Raman, Dr. Heba Kotb is breaking barriers and talking about sex openly on a talk show broadcast across the Middle East. According to Kotb,

We talk about masturbation … sex over the Internet. We talk about sex and Ramadan. We talk about the wedding night.

It took her three years of hard work to get her show on the air. She limits herself though. She only talks about sex allowed in the Quran - sex between husband and wife. The promo for the show starts with Kotb saying, “Sex. Don’t be afraid. Join me to talk about sex without shame.”

Her main advice is something I can get, um, behind: Have more sex.

In case you’re wondering where you could buy one, Shirat HaSirena over at Zabaj has the inside scoop on hot, fresh HOMOS! This sign was spotted in Jerusalem. I assume the sign used to read “humus“.

Love is a feeling - an emotion. It’s not a game. If you want to play a game with guys, try baseball. You can swing your, um, bat as much as you want without giving anyone a heartache.

It’s not a personality defect to be single! So stop all the self-flagellation (unless you get off on that kind of thing!). Most folks don’t find bruises (both physical and emotional) all that attractive.